How to Deal with People Who Say No to Everything (Naysayers!)

All of us have, at some stage, been in a situation where we want to achieve something yet other people don’t support us in achieving it. Here are five ways to help you deal with Naysayers.

1) Safeguard your goals!
Imagine you’re trying to paint a beautiful picture. You’re happy, you’re enjoying being creative, and your painting is really starting to take shape. Now, imagine someone getting a pen and scribbling all over it. How frustrated would you feel, watching your hard work being destroyed?
It’s the same thing when you listen to naysayers, people who don’t believe in what you are doing or in your vision. As you focus on your goals and dreams, they talk about the downsides and pitfalls. However, for every second you spend listening to their negative criticism, you are distracted from doing what you need to be doing. It means you will have to work twice as hard to build your vision. Your goals and dreams are far too precious to allow other people to belittle or destroy them, simply because they can’t see how it’s possible or even how it might be possible for them. Safeguard yourself. The first step to safeguarding yourself is to avoid talking about your goals in their company. Don’t even raise the subject. Ideally, don’t spend too much of your time around those people but if you are around them, don’t raise the subject of your goals.

2) Assess the Naysayer
There is a big difference between someone who gives constructive criticism because they care about you and someone who just wants to have their say and put limits on you. It’s important that you know how to spot the difference between the two.

Questions to ask:
1) Does the person giving their opinion have anything I want or do they lead the kind of lifestyle I want?

2) Does the person have knowledge and expertise in what they are commenting on?

If the answer is no to the above then it’s likely that they are a naysayer. Take it from me, they will not bring you to a better place as they simply don’t know how to. They haven’t got the results you want so they are not in a position to judge or to advise. If on the other hand a person has extensive knowledge and experience in what you want and has got the results you want, it might be worth listening to their comments and look for what’s constructive. By assessing the person you put yourself in a good position to make informed decisions and take productive actions.

3) Don’t engage in discussion
Naysayers love an opportunity to discuss and debate. Like a dog with a bone, they grab on to a dream and they keep gnawing on it until they destroy it. They do this by asking questions and battling answers. The key is not to engage in discussion and not to answer any questions with long answers that allow for elaboration. Don’t give them information to play with. If they ask you questions about what you are doing/planning, don’t try to explain the reasoning behind what you want or why you are so excited about it. They won’t get it or agree with it –period! Simply use response statements like “Isn’t that interesting”, “I see” and switch topic if you have to. With nothing to continue with, the naysayer will stop there.

4) Surround yourself with supportive people
Did you know that your results are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Think about those five people now, average their income, their relationship status, attitude, health etc. You will be that average result. If you want to excel, be around people who will hold you to a higher standard. Look for people who are positive, successful in the areas you want to be successful in, and people with good values. Choose the best five people you want to spend most time around and look for ways you can spend more time with them from now on. Create your Success Team. If you don’t have such people in your life (a lot of people don’t) think of the people out there in this world who are doing what you want to do, then increase your contact with their works. Have a look at their books, CDs, downloads, interviews, trainings, etc. and implement the relevant information.
5) Remind yourself of your vision
Think about your ideal vision. What is it? Think about you at your best. Then, write that down so you have it to hand, if you need it. You might like to put it in your diary or on your computer or even on your fridge door. Pick somewhere that you can access easily and that will remind you on a regular basis of what you want to achieve.
If you get distracted by naysayers, look back at what you’ve written and revisit your vision. Recall exactly what you want to achieve. Think about what exactly you want and stay focused on that.

Your life is worth more than putting it on hold because someone cannot see the possibilities you see. Love those people for who they are but you are not responsible for them. You are responsible for being the best version of you. Believe in yourself and in possibility!

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