5 Ways To Calm Your Mind

5 Ways to Calm Your Mind


Separate your identity from challenges

When we meet obstacles in life it is easy (and understandable) to see them as concrete problems that are bigger than us or worse still we make them part of us. You are NOT your problem. You are you and if you are to deal with anything in your life, you must stop seeing it as a concrete problem and approach it as a “challenge” to be overcome. When we have a problem, our brain feels stuck. When we have a “challenge” our brain looks for solutions, and when you ask your brain good questions, it gives better solutions! For example, instead of thinking “Why can’t I just do this?” or “What’s wrong with me?”, ask yourself “How can I solve this?” or “What resources do I have, or can I find to solve this?” This may involve seeking help, learning new skills, sourcing information or something else but once you have the right approach, the gateway for solutions opens.

See Thoughts as Guesses not Facts.

Have you ever been on holiday and you wore a pair of sunglasses? Whilst picking the glasses, perhaps you tried on a few pairs. Did you notice that different colour filters made things look different than what they would have been without the glasses on? For example, the “reality” may look more blue or yellow, depending on the filter. The fact is the reality is perceived by the filter we are looking through, not the reality as it is. Our brain works in a similar way. For example, have you ever got good news and suddenly everyone seemed more pleasant, people let you out in traffic, people were nicer to you etc.? It’s not that things changed, it’s that your perception of it did. That said, have you ever thought that the way you perceive your life as it currently is may in FACT be different than what you think it is? Your thoughts are perceptions, guesses and expectations, not necessarily reality. Become open to that fact.

Stay Present

The easiest way to make yourself feel anxious is to think of something in the future or something in the past not working out. That is not useful!

The truth is, the past is now a memory that only exists in your mind. It is not here. How much you focus on the past will determine how you feel now. I’m not saying disown your past, I am however saying that no matter what you do, you cannot change the past. Those mistakes you made, those events that didn’t work out, those things that hurt you – you can’t undo them so rehashing them is no use to you. However, you can change your representation of the past. Instead of feeling bad, see how strong you were to get through events, learn from mistakes and see failure as feedback to try a new approach etc.

Similarly, worrying about future events is equally unhelpful. The future is nothing more than an expectation that may or may not happen. The reality is even if it does happen it’s not going to be as you imagine it exactly anyway. Why bother yourself with it? Focus on NOW, it is all you have. What if you just focused in this moment only and making it good, and then in the next moment focus only on that moment.

Focus on the moments and the rest will take care of itself. A simple way to create a great moment right now is by putting yourself in a state of gratitude. Right now, acknowledge ten things you can be grateful for. Do this as a matter of priority and you will see the power in it. Do it daily. When you put yourself in a state of abundance, life seems easier and you feel calmer.


7-11 Breathing

Take five minutes to sit, close your eyes and be still. BREATHE! Did you know that when we feel stress our breathing pattern changes? This can cause the oxygen/ carbon dioxide flow to become unstable. A quick way to bring your breathing into alignment is to do a 7- 11 breathing technique. I go into this in more detail in my book, The Confidence to Succeed, but in a nutshell, focus on your abdominal area, breathe in through your nose for a count of 7 and out slowly for a count of 11. Do it ten times and watch what happens!


Be Around People Who Make You Feel Good!

It’s common knowledge that you become similar to the people you surround yourself with. If you are with people who moan, criticise or belittle, guess how you feel? Yes, bad! Now what if you were to purposely change that and be around people who will help you feel good? Wouldn’t it be amazing to be surrounded by people who support you, encourage you and empower you? Are you free on October 20th? This may interest you => Check out

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