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When Beautiful is Not Beautiful

Let’s face it, most women, even the most gorgeous, talented and apparently perfect women, don’t feel beautiful at some point. When media puts apparent perfection in our faces it’s easy to see why. We have become a society of comparisons. Instead of loving ourselves for who we are, we focus on our imperfections- the wobbly bits, the crooked bits, the too-big bits, the too-small bits etc., and we criticise ourselves brutally in the process, leading to a feeling of absolute inadequacy when we don’t measure up.


The truth however is that no matter what your scale or clothing label says being comfortable with yourself and feeling beautiful is based on how you see yourself, not on how society measures you. It ultimately depends on you. You are actually already beautiful. Open your eyes and embrace it.
Have you ever seen a model with a sad face? Think of her. She doesn’t look so attractive does she? That’s because a sad face is not beautiful. Size or shape or facial appearance does not determine beauty either. How you feel about yourself determines beauty. Think of a woman with a genuinely happy face. You can’t help but see her beauty, right? Happiness is beautiful.
You see, people have got beauty all mixed up, if you ask me. Beauty is not about body size, shape or facial appearance. If it was beauty would be the same across cultures, which it isn’t. Our notion of beauty is usually culturally or environmentally dependent, in which case it’s perceived beauty. And as we both know, perception is often very different to reality. The reality is you are beautiful as YOU, no matter how others perceive you in any given environment.
Bringing it back to basics, beauty is actually about happiness and loving yourself. Health is obviously important for life longevity but visual perfection should never be your goal, if you want to feel beautiful and happy. You are you, embrace it and love it! You are unique. There’s not one single person on the planet the same as you, even if you have an identical twin. That makes you pretty special! Can you imagine if you lived from a place of knowing that to be true? How beautiful would you feel? You can! It starts with a choice. Are you prepared to spend your precious life moments being trapped in a societal stereo-type of perfection or are you going to accept yourself for all you are now and love it? Your life-time is ticking. Don’t waste it.
For the purposes of this article I’d like you to do something for me, I want you to focus on your hand and your foot at the same time. You can’t, right? You have to lift your eyes from one to the other and your choice of focus determines what you see. When it comes to feeling good about yourself, what you focus on will show up and it will predict how you feel. If you are always focused on the bits of you that you don’t like, you miss how fabulous you actually are!
Right now I would like you to write down two parts of you that you love. It could be your eyes, your ears, your teeth, your legs or whatever. Just look for the bits that you like, write them down, and the next time you look in the mirror intentionally look at those parts first and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Do it often. The goal is to train your brain to see your beauty, not your apparent flaws. As for the parts of you that you don’t like, I want you to imagine life without them. Perhaps your first thought would be ‘Great, I would love to be without them.’ but let’s see how valuable they really are now. For example, if you don’t like your face, imagine your face got burned or marked. Extreme I know but it is actually a possibility so just imagine it for a moment. How much would you long for the face you have now, if that were to happen? You already have the face someone else only wishes for. And those legs or arms you might not like - imagine not having legs or arms at all. Literally imagine being without them. Someone else is praying for what you already have.
Appreciate your beauty now or you may look back with regret for what once was. You are already beautiful. Believe it, appreciate it and live it.

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